Why do some pets grieve and others don’t?

I’ve had a lot of pets over the years which means I’ve lost a lot too. The whole house feels empty when we say goodbye to a dear and devoted friend. The energy seems to shift when one leaves and the remaining pets will often show signs of distress or grief. What I find so interesting is that some pets seem to be deeply affected by the loss of a companion animal and yet others don’t. Why is that?

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The energy in the household shifts when we lose a pet

The signs of grief are clear. Some pets will turn away from their food or treats. Others will sulk around in a sorrowful way. Others still will whine, cry, or yowl as they search the house looking for their best friend and companion. Some pets will have clinical signs of depression just like we do. Their grief can last from days to months or longer.

How can we help a pet suffering from grief?

We are often so caught up in our own pain that we may overlook our pets and their feelings during this difficult time. It is not intentional, but our lives can be totally disrupted when a pet dies. There are a few simple things you can do to help the other pets understand what is happening and ease them into healing.

Communicate openly about illness, injuries or end of life issues

Talking out loud to your pets in simple sentences (as you would to a child of about nine or ten ) will accomplish a few things:

It allows the resident pet to hear in your words what is going on

It lets them see the images that flash in your mind as you speak

It allows them to feel your sorrow and sadness as you explain what is happening

In past sessions I’ve had with grieving pets, some were devastated by the loss of a companion animal and shared some very upsetting messages. Some pets said they were worried or scared because they didn’t know what happened to their companion and one day they were just gone. Others told me they saw their human take the ailing pet away and they never returned. They thought that they were lost or couldn’t find their way back home.

These pets shared that they couldn’t understand why their human wasn’t out looking for the lost pet. A few pets even felt like they were responsible in some way for either the illness, death or demise of a companion animal especially if they had been naughty or if their humans had reprimanded them during their last few months or days. There were a lot of sad stories from the pets who were grieving and I found myself trying to explain what happened after the fact.

Death affects all of us, even our pets

I live on a farm so when I lose a pet I allow my other pets to see the body before they are buried. They are able to sense that the life force is gone and they have left their body. I perform a simple ceremony with sage, smudging, prayers, and blessings. If you are not able to do something similar, take a towel with the departed pet’s scent and allow the others to inspect it as you explain that they passed away.

Most of the time, the pets who have forged the closest bonds with another pet will be the ones who grieve the most. But each situation is different and other pets may act as though nothing has changed and carry on without any signs of grief. Taking a few basic steps can help your remaining pets understand the bigger picture.

Should I get another pet?

This is a common question I hear from my clients and one that can change the energy within the household even more. The best answer I have is that it depends on each situation. Some resident pets are very excited about bringing in a new pet. Others are not, especially if the resident pet is older, weaker, and not in the best of health. In some cases, it is best to leave well enough alone and not add any new pets to the household. A communication session is always a good way to find out how the remaining pet feels about a new friend.

Express your feelings to your pets and embrace every precious moment

Remember your pets may not understand the details but they will absorb your energy and pick up on your emotions. Sharing your feelings, talking about what is happening or what happened to a pet that died is the best way to help your remaining pets. They will feel the love in your heart and know that their beloved companion has made their transition to the Other Side in peace and dignity.